man, my faith is weak. this whole haiti thing really highlighted that. our really good friend ashley is in haiti, working for an orphanage in port au prince. she is a nurse. when she left, we prayed together for direction and that God would reveal to her why she was there. then this happens. here is where the weak part comes in
i was at a deli. cnn was on. i saw the live footage. the talk of decimation. my heart sank. all i could think of was the san fran earthquake in 1989. that it was 6. something. how can a third world nation survive a 7.0? with thousands reported dead already, what are the odds she survived? how will we find out? i imagined all lines of communication were down, and even if they were, i knew her heart and mind were with helping as many people as she could. i became instantly angry. no huge revelations. doubt people have struggled with for centuries. the why's and hows. i began asking God, did you really bring her there just to kill her? whats the point? where is kindness and mercy in destroying a nation? i felt so far away...
then we find out she's ok. that she helped set up and is practically running a clinic there. her skills as a nurse absolutely invaluable now. did He bring her there for this? seems the inevitable conclusion.
i repent of my anger, my lack of faith. i still have so many hows and whys, as do so many countless others right about now. but i seek in prayer none the less.
